2017 08 11 (2) Friday

19h30  : I wake up, get ready to head to the truck-stop after 20h. After 20h, because now I am trying to avoid the day shift manager and the bosses. I didn't attract the sheriff's deputies' attention yet, as I look like just another traveler sitting at a table and typing on his phone. Saturday at 03h, I shaved, and by the grace of Allah, my shirt (one of the 4 ones I found in the drop off box, is still clean-looking and comfortable). How long before I start looking like a veteran hobo ?.

I was going to fast for a few days as a management of my bladder carcinoma. But I am just too tired and dispirited after my hitch Hicking experience. I bought 1 foot long 'Subway' sandwich, went to 'Dunkin Donuts' shop, bought more sugar and floor-based junk-food and sat there to eat and use WiFi. I decided to spend all the few dollars I have left.

I am very tired and at least I have tried. May Allah forgive me, but the thought of leaving this place after a few weeks of hunger and dehydration -alone in the woods - is sweet to me. It felt like a punishment since the beginning, as I am certain I have been exposed to pre-natal stress and the problems and the blows have never stopped since then. No need to mention the ruling class and their ploys to make life more difficult for everybody non-stop. 9-11, the ultimate false flag terror attack of our time, was like a green light to pile up more and more weight on everybody's back since no one challenged their lies and evil deeds. 9-11 was a green light also for every negative tendency on the side of the hypocrites being ruled and abused : narcissism, selfishness, greed, hypocrisy, being utterly fake, obedience to the system and compliance to it while hating on their fellow man...etc.

My father - may he be cursed - is a vicious covert narcissist, who happen to have found in his children the ideal retaliation-free targets. I have been told a few years ago by an uncle that my older sister is having violent nervous breakdowns (she rolls on the floor, pulls the curtains...etc). Her father had her hooked on anti-depressants and I was told that now she is like a zombie.