I woke up around noon. Nice weather. Yesterday night, it wasn't cold Alhamdulillah. I spent the afternoon thinking and writing (and trying to get mosquitoes off of me). Having listened to Kevin Barrett being interviewed by Richie Allen (see : K.B. with R.A. ) I felt like getting some things off my chest and on paper (the other day when I went hitch hiking to the nearby town, I bough a blank page notebook and pens)
~ 20h : I come to the truck- stop. My meal is waiting for me....in the garbage bins (lol) (I looked inside them as discreetly as possible, I don't want to attract attention). I got my daily food from 2 different garbage bins. On the menu : The bottom of a pork can, salty crackers (unopened little bag), apple pie minus one bite, 2 big fried chicken wings, 2 slices of toasted bread minus 2 or 3 bites. Everything was clean, inside paper or plastic bags. Plus the honey, jelly...etc pouches.
Alhamdulillah, I ate very well. I used to rescue or feed feral cats whenever I could. Now, I am the feral one (lol). Soubhanallah and Alhamdulillah, I am at peace, for I know that everything is by Allah's Permission. He sees everything, is with His servants all the time, and everything that has happened, is happening or will happen, He Has already written it. If He wished anything to have happened differently, it would have. So just relax, go through this earthly experience as if it is just a Boot Camp to get you admitted into THE REAL LIFE (of Paradise, Insha'Allah) :
Quran [29:64] : "This worldly life is no more than vanity and play, while the abode of the Hereafter is the REAL LIFE, if they only knew."
After eating and while sitting on a bench, I asked some truck drivers, heading to the store, to buy me a shaving razor. I ended up with 3 shaving razors, Alhamdulillah. I also picked up some empty plastic bottles and cleaned them. In one of them, I put some liquid soap from the bathroom, to use as a shampoo. I am thinking of taking a shower in the next thunderstorm, Insha'Allah. My scalp is itchy, I didn't shower in 13 days.
Now I am going to transfer what the mentioned podcast triggered me to write on paper this afternoon.
(Some local guy starts telling me about his problems with his girlfriend and her father. I lend a compassionate ear and even provide encouraging words (for not hitting his girlfriend's father), then some employees join us in the WiFi room. They know him, and I am off the hook now, no need for my attention anymore. Later he tells me he has to go to work early in the morning, bla bla bla...etc. Either he is one of those energy stealer individuals who also like to dump their BS on other people, OR it is just me who is mean, anti-social and of the just-leave-me-alone kind).
00h10 (Tuesday) : More clean food from the garbage bins, Alhamdulillah : French fries, fried chicken, bread (that they call biscuits)...BUT the best of all, is the fruit salad untouched in its plastic container and the few slices of apple, untouched as well, in their little plastic bag. I was craving fresh fruits, that I haven't had in a very long time !!!.).
02h30 (Tuesday) : More food in the garbage bins, after buses stop and leave : Hot soup (that I was craving), salad, French fries and 2 little pieces of fried chicken. I am full, Alhamdulillah.
Monday, August 21, 2017
Sunday, August 20, 2017
Speculation
Looking back at those people mentioned earlier that responded negatively to getting me something to eat, I can not help thinking that, maybe Allah is using me to test them.
Just like in July of 2016. It was Monday, I had some BS bureaucratic obligations to attend to in lower Manhattan. After buying one way subway ticket ride, all I had left was $16. It was to buy food for my cats, since I wasn't going to drive a taxi until Thursday. Paying $2.75 for the subway home was out of the question, so I had to walk back home.
I was hungry and tired, but still, I had to walk almost 3 hrs to Queens where I used to live. My first thought was to ask one of those many food cart vendors to give me a plate of rice and chicken ($6/$7.) and I would pay him back Thursday (needless to say, with a generous tip).
My ego/pride kicked in, and I said to myself "no way, I am not asking anyone for anything, I have my pride". That's when I remembered that Allah does not like the proud one, but likes the humble one, and in Islam, when one is in need, one ought to ask. Pride is not for those aiming to get closer to Allah. As a matter of fact, Satan's sin was pride, that caused him to refuse bowing to Adam when Allah asked him to.
So, I ask the 1st one : NO. 2nd one : NO. 3rd one : NO....From Bway and Canal St, to Williamsburg bridge, I must have asked 10 food cart vendors : ALL refused.
Not only they all refused, but on top of that, they were all "muslims". I didn't tell any of them that I was muslim myself, because if they had a correct understanding of Islam, they wouldn't refuse food to a fellow human (one who also promised to pay back in a few days). One of them even said some disparaging comments on my tatoo, in some ugly arabic dialect that I didn't fully understand.
I can understand that some people do not like muslims, due to their negative experiences with them. I, myself, do not like most of them, starting a while ago (may Allah forgive me).
VERY Important : Referring to them as "muslims" is very inaccurate. They are first and foremost confused, dysfunctional and spiritually-deficient people in survival mode. While being all that, they insist on showing off a thin layer of Islam for all to see, as an attempt to hide the ugliness inside them. They are one of those in NYC who are as ugly as their bureaucratic oppressors.
Anyway, I was happy to have put my pride on the side for the sake of Allah and to have asked them. I thought later that maybe Allah was using me to test them. Just like the folks here, at the bus stop.
What all those kind of people fail to realize, is that ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING belongs to Allah, and that this life with its ups and downs, its moments of abundance and its moments of scarcity, it is all a test. A test indeed, for the one going through the abundance or the scarcity, as well as for the one witnessing it and coming in close proximity to it.
And Allah knows best of course.
Just like in July of 2016. It was Monday, I had some BS bureaucratic obligations to attend to in lower Manhattan. After buying one way subway ticket ride, all I had left was $16. It was to buy food for my cats, since I wasn't going to drive a taxi until Thursday. Paying $2.75 for the subway home was out of the question, so I had to walk back home.
I was hungry and tired, but still, I had to walk almost 3 hrs to Queens where I used to live. My first thought was to ask one of those many food cart vendors to give me a plate of rice and chicken ($6/$7.) and I would pay him back Thursday (needless to say, with a generous tip).
My ego/pride kicked in, and I said to myself "no way, I am not asking anyone for anything, I have my pride". That's when I remembered that Allah does not like the proud one, but likes the humble one, and in Islam, when one is in need, one ought to ask. Pride is not for those aiming to get closer to Allah. As a matter of fact, Satan's sin was pride, that caused him to refuse bowing to Adam when Allah asked him to.
So, I ask the 1st one : NO. 2nd one : NO. 3rd one : NO....From Bway and Canal St, to Williamsburg bridge, I must have asked 10 food cart vendors : ALL refused.
Not only they all refused, but on top of that, they were all "muslims". I didn't tell any of them that I was muslim myself, because if they had a correct understanding of Islam, they wouldn't refuse food to a fellow human (one who also promised to pay back in a few days). One of them even said some disparaging comments on my tatoo, in some ugly arabic dialect that I didn't fully understand.
I can understand that some people do not like muslims, due to their negative experiences with them. I, myself, do not like most of them, starting a while ago (may Allah forgive me).
VERY Important : Referring to them as "muslims" is very inaccurate. They are first and foremost confused, dysfunctional and spiritually-deficient people in survival mode. While being all that, they insist on showing off a thin layer of Islam for all to see, as an attempt to hide the ugliness inside them. They are one of those in NYC who are as ugly as their bureaucratic oppressors.
Anyway, I was happy to have put my pride on the side for the sake of Allah and to have asked them. I thought later that maybe Allah was using me to test them. Just like the folks here, at the bus stop.
What all those kind of people fail to realize, is that ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING belongs to Allah, and that this life with its ups and downs, its moments of abundance and its moments of scarcity, it is all a test. A test indeed, for the one going through the abundance or the scarcity, as well as for the one witnessing it and coming in close proximity to it.
And Allah knows best of course.
2017 08 20, Sunday (updated)
I woke up tired for lack of food, but also because yesterday night was very foggy and the humidity was bone-penetrating so I couldn't sleep well. I will have to see how I can better deal with the night cold. At least, Alhamdulillah, my right kidney is not hurting anymore. To think of it, aside from my prostatitis issue, maybe subconscious stress had something to do with the kidney pain. Anyway, no big deal.
12h30 : I am at the truck-stop . After washing my face, I lay down some clothes to dry in the sunshine, then I go a few feet away, lean against the wall to try to see if I can ask someone to buy me some food. After a little while, I don't dare asking no one, I just pick up my dry clothes and go to the WiFi room to write and web surf.
16h : I go back to my camp, with a bit of difficulty as I am weak from being foodless for almost 60 hrs. Once there, I hang some more garbage plastic bags (I hope the truck-stop won't hold it against me on judgement day for helping myself) as a wall around my bed. Then I lay down, listening to some Islamic Meditation stuff then Joel Osteen (see my YT channel for the playlists 'Islamic Meditation' and 'Have Faith')....until the battery drains out.
http://m.youtube.com/user/MrSayonara7777
If you have Android, a great app that allows you to download YT videos, or only the audio to save battery or have mp3s on your phone, is : SNAPTUBE. I highly recommend it. Maybe there is a version for other OSs.
20h : I go back to the truck stop. Before I go to the WiFi room, I try to see if I can feel comfortable enough by somebody's appearance to ask him/her to buy me something to eat. None. So I just go inside and write/websurf.
21h45 : I take a break while Snaptube is downloading some podcasts for me, and I go stand outside. I ask 3 persons, 1 female then 2 males : all 3 Negative. I am at peace despite being hungry and my fellow humans are indifferent, at least I tried for the sake of Allah primarily. If Allah wished, he would have sent me someone generous without even me asking for anything, like that lady of last Friday at 01h.
23h : I ask a female if she could buy me a sandwich, she replies "No, sorry". I went from not asking anyone, to asking 4 persons in 1 hour : that's improvement !! (lol).
00h05 (Monday) : I was able to take some pouches of honey, mayo and ketchup (my candida is going to be happy, they are starving and forming hyphae !!!). I am going to eat some of them on a bench, brush my teeth then go to bed. At least no rain/thunderstorm in the forecast until Wednesday afternoon.
01h16 (Monday) : I just finished eating like a king. On my way to the bench, I noticed an orphan plastic bag not empty. I took it. It contained one cookie and one 4 oz (113g) apple pie (probably left by one of the bus passengers). Soubhanallah, that's how I was supposed to get my sustenance today. With the pouches I had, everything was delicious. My strength is back, so much so, I could run the marathon and win (lol).
12h30 : I am at the truck-stop . After washing my face, I lay down some clothes to dry in the sunshine, then I go a few feet away, lean against the wall to try to see if I can ask someone to buy me some food. After a little while, I don't dare asking no one, I just pick up my dry clothes and go to the WiFi room to write and web surf.
16h : I go back to my camp, with a bit of difficulty as I am weak from being foodless for almost 60 hrs. Once there, I hang some more garbage plastic bags (I hope the truck-stop won't hold it against me on judgement day for helping myself) as a wall around my bed. Then I lay down, listening to some Islamic Meditation stuff then Joel Osteen (see my YT channel for the playlists 'Islamic Meditation' and 'Have Faith')....until the battery drains out.
http://m.youtube.com/user/MrSayonara7777
If you have Android, a great app that allows you to download YT videos, or only the audio to save battery or have mp3s on your phone, is : SNAPTUBE. I highly recommend it. Maybe there is a version for other OSs.
20h : I go back to the truck stop. Before I go to the WiFi room, I try to see if I can feel comfortable enough by somebody's appearance to ask him/her to buy me something to eat. None. So I just go inside and write/websurf.
21h45 : I take a break while Snaptube is downloading some podcasts for me, and I go stand outside. I ask 3 persons, 1 female then 2 males : all 3 Negative. I am at peace despite being hungry and my fellow humans are indifferent, at least I tried for the sake of Allah primarily. If Allah wished, he would have sent me someone generous without even me asking for anything, like that lady of last Friday at 01h.
23h : I ask a female if she could buy me a sandwich, she replies "No, sorry". I went from not asking anyone, to asking 4 persons in 1 hour : that's improvement !! (lol).
00h05 (Monday) : I was able to take some pouches of honey, mayo and ketchup (my candida is going to be happy, they are starving and forming hyphae !!!). I am going to eat some of them on a bench, brush my teeth then go to bed. At least no rain/thunderstorm in the forecast until Wednesday afternoon.
01h16 (Monday) : I just finished eating like a king. On my way to the bench, I noticed an orphan plastic bag not empty. I took it. It contained one cookie and one 4 oz (113g) apple pie (probably left by one of the bus passengers). Soubhanallah, that's how I was supposed to get my sustenance today. With the pouches I had, everything was delicious. My strength is back, so much so, I could run the marathon and win (lol).
2017 08 19 Saturday
http://m.youtube.com/channel/UCPHBbp5EvbtmsjkTDYsrzOA
I Woke up around 12h..I dreamed of cats in need of help, one of my 2 recurrent bad dreams, the other one relates to the soul-mangling experience of having had a vicious covert narcissist father.
My not-well-maintained cat-related YT channel (linked above I think) :
http://m.youtube.com/channel/UCPHBbp5EvbtmsjkTDYsrzOA
12h30 : I go to the truck stop after just waking up.
First, the restroom where I relieve myself, wash my face...etc. The many bite marks on my forehead inflicted by insects the other day while I was sleeping, are less swollen but they are still visible and not pretty.
I go to a sunny spot, a bit away from the shopping center where I lay down some of my clothes to dry under the sun, as well my shoes. The thunderstorm was mean yesterday.
13h : The motel is nearby. The lady who used to wave me 'Hi', is cleaning up the rooms. I gather my courage and go ask her if I can have a clean bath towel and a clean bed sheet. She asks me what my room # is, thinking I was staying at the motel. When I told her that I wasn't, the reply to my request was negative. I sit a little bit more in the sun, and when my clothes and shoes are dry, I go to the internet room.
17h30 : Too many people and their BS in the internet room . A little pesky female employee, into gossip and unnecessary curiosity, starts asking me - AGAIN - loudly about my situation while the room is full. I reply to her "I would rather not advertise my story". She doesn't understand, I repeat it, she still doesn't understand. I say "never mind" then she leaves me alone finally. I go back to my camp and take a nap.
20H15 : I come back to the internet room to write and web surf. It is empty and the day shift employees have left. Great !!.
23h45 : I am hungry. While I am standing outside trying to identify a good soul to ask if he can buy me a sandwich, I see this man in a good looking SUV, with a wife and 2 kids. He seems like a good family man and comfortable financially. As he passes me by, I ask him if he could buy me a sandwich. He avoids eye contact and mumbles something, but it is a "NO". I am reluctant to ask anyone as I feel bad energy, with their "go army" car plates, fancy RVs, water scooters... etc. I thought I picked the right guy to ask but I didn't.
So I just go back to the internet room, do some more web surfing/writing, then I leave around 01h (Sunday). I would like to wake up early tomorrow to take advantage of the sunny day to dry some more clothes.
I Woke up around 12h..I dreamed of cats in need of help, one of my 2 recurrent bad dreams, the other one relates to the soul-mangling experience of having had a vicious covert narcissist father.
My not-well-maintained cat-related YT channel (linked above I think) :
http://m.youtube.com/channel/UCPHBbp5EvbtmsjkTDYsrzOA
12h30 : I go to the truck stop after just waking up.
First, the restroom where I relieve myself, wash my face...etc. The many bite marks on my forehead inflicted by insects the other day while I was sleeping, are less swollen but they are still visible and not pretty.
I go to a sunny spot, a bit away from the shopping center where I lay down some of my clothes to dry under the sun, as well my shoes. The thunderstorm was mean yesterday.
13h : The motel is nearby. The lady who used to wave me 'Hi', is cleaning up the rooms. I gather my courage and go ask her if I can have a clean bath towel and a clean bed sheet. She asks me what my room # is, thinking I was staying at the motel. When I told her that I wasn't, the reply to my request was negative. I sit a little bit more in the sun, and when my clothes and shoes are dry, I go to the internet room.
17h30 : Too many people and their BS in the internet room . A little pesky female employee, into gossip and unnecessary curiosity, starts asking me - AGAIN - loudly about my situation while the room is full. I reply to her "I would rather not advertise my story". She doesn't understand, I repeat it, she still doesn't understand. I say "never mind" then she leaves me alone finally. I go back to my camp and take a nap.
20H15 : I come back to the internet room to write and web surf. It is empty and the day shift employees have left. Great !!.
23h45 : I am hungry. While I am standing outside trying to identify a good soul to ask if he can buy me a sandwich, I see this man in a good looking SUV, with a wife and 2 kids. He seems like a good family man and comfortable financially. As he passes me by, I ask him if he could buy me a sandwich. He avoids eye contact and mumbles something, but it is a "NO". I am reluctant to ask anyone as I feel bad energy, with their "go army" car plates, fancy RVs, water scooters... etc. I thought I picked the right guy to ask but I didn't.
So I just go back to the internet room, do some more web surfing/writing, then I leave around 01h (Sunday). I would like to wake up early tomorrow to take advantage of the sunny day to dry some more clothes.
2017 08 18, Friday
I spent the day in bed. The weather is not wet.
I went to the truck-stop around 20h15, to type and web surf. I am not hungry (I ate a lot at 01h, the lady's generosity) and I don't have money anyway aside from .29 cents. Asking people to buy me a sandwich is something I don't have the courage for (but it is not out of pride. Allah does not like the proud). Besides, I don't know what kind of individual I might be asking and I don't feel like drenching myself in anybody's negative energy; I had enough of that in NYC.
While typing in this room where smoking is allowed and where employees come to take their break, hearing all their BS, listening to their BS rap that some play on their devices and breathing their smoke, just was too much for me to bear and I leave for my camp around 22h maybe.
The sky is full of beautiful silent lightening, there is a thunderstorm in the weather forecast.
00h : Here we go, winds and heavy rain strick and my little refuge is all wet, my clothes are wet, the plastic bags that I surrounded myself with (as walls) are unable to deal with the forces of nature. At least the plastic blue sheet that 'Denver' gave me is still holding and it is the roof of my dwelling. Once in a while I have to push it from under to unload the water that accumulates on top of it. I just sit there, waiting for the storm to pass, and trying to tell the spiders that want to share my refuge because of the rain, that they better behave themselves or I am going to stop being nice. The flashlight is very useful Alhamdulillah.
Once the worse has passed, I just cover the exposed parts of my skin with some of the clothes I took from the drop off box and go to sleep.
Tomorrow Saturday, I am going to ask the motel employee lady that waves 'Hi' to me, if she can offer me a clean bed sheet (it will be such a relief from the mosquitoes...). I am also hoping to dry some of my clothes in the sun at the truck-stop Insha'Allah (where my camp is, the vegetation is too dense for steady sunshine).
I went to the truck-stop around 20h15, to type and web surf. I am not hungry (I ate a lot at 01h, the lady's generosity) and I don't have money anyway aside from .29 cents. Asking people to buy me a sandwich is something I don't have the courage for (but it is not out of pride. Allah does not like the proud). Besides, I don't know what kind of individual I might be asking and I don't feel like drenching myself in anybody's negative energy; I had enough of that in NYC.
While typing in this room where smoking is allowed and where employees come to take their break, hearing all their BS, listening to their BS rap that some play on their devices and breathing their smoke, just was too much for me to bear and I leave for my camp around 22h maybe.
The sky is full of beautiful silent lightening, there is a thunderstorm in the weather forecast.
00h : Here we go, winds and heavy rain strick and my little refuge is all wet, my clothes are wet, the plastic bags that I surrounded myself with (as walls) are unable to deal with the forces of nature. At least the plastic blue sheet that 'Denver' gave me is still holding and it is the roof of my dwelling. Once in a while I have to push it from under to unload the water that accumulates on top of it. I just sit there, waiting for the storm to pass, and trying to tell the spiders that want to share my refuge because of the rain, that they better behave themselves or I am going to stop being nice. The flashlight is very useful Alhamdulillah.
Once the worse has passed, I just cover the exposed parts of my skin with some of the clothes I took from the drop off box and go to sleep.
Tomorrow Saturday, I am going to ask the motel employee lady that waves 'Hi' to me, if she can offer me a clean bed sheet (it will be such a relief from the mosquitoes...). I am also hoping to dry some of my clothes in the sun at the truck-stop Insha'Allah (where my camp is, the vegetation is too dense for steady sunshine).
Saturday, August 19, 2017
2017 08 17, Thursday
20h30 : No food today in the schedule today (.21 cents left), but I am not weak nor hungry, Alhamdulillah. Yesterday I packed the food I had with mayo, ketchup, jelly...etc.
The weather is nice but earlier it has been raining. My newly re-arranged camp didn't get wet like before, Alhamdulillah.
First, I stop by at the restroom to wash my face. Now I have another bump on my forehead, result of mosquito bites. I so wish that somehow, someway I could get an anti-mosquito net (amazon.com where are you ? lol).
I might stay here until daylight as I spent the day sleeping and I would rather have daylight to clean/arrange my bed before going to sleep. Until then, I am just going to write and web surf.
01h (Friday 18th) : As I was just standing against the wall outside, getting a little bit warm from the AC, a lady approaches me and asks me very nicely if she can buy me something to eat. I reply the affirmative of course. She was very generous and accommodating. I ended up with a 1 foot 'Subway' sandwich (everything on it), chips and a Vitamin Water bottle (I am trying to delay the onset of scurvy as far as possible).
Soubhanallah, if Allah wants to keep me alive, He will decide how and for how long, I am not worried at all; even though I would rather leave this earthly place ASAP if you ask me. But He decided to put me here in the first place and He decided when and how I shall leave as well : none of it is up to me. A few more hours or days or weeks spent in this 2nd order of reality, is just an opportunity for more utterances of 'Alhamdulillah', 'Astaghfirullah', 'la Ilaha Illallah'...etc. After all, He created mankind and Jinnkind only to worship Him, that is our primary mission while our Soul is anchored to our earthly body.
As for that nice lady goes, who volunteered to buy me food tonight without me even asking, it is a reminder that there are still some beautiful servants of Allah, still hanging to their good side, despite all the anger, the hatred, the narcissism and the utter selfishness plaguing most people nowadays. Out of the blessing of Allah, once in a while, He will put some on your path when need be.
The weather is nice but earlier it has been raining. My newly re-arranged camp didn't get wet like before, Alhamdulillah.
First, I stop by at the restroom to wash my face. Now I have another bump on my forehead, result of mosquito bites. I so wish that somehow, someway I could get an anti-mosquito net (amazon.com where are you ? lol).
I might stay here until daylight as I spent the day sleeping and I would rather have daylight to clean/arrange my bed before going to sleep. Until then, I am just going to write and web surf.
01h (Friday 18th) : As I was just standing against the wall outside, getting a little bit warm from the AC, a lady approaches me and asks me very nicely if she can buy me something to eat. I reply the affirmative of course. She was very generous and accommodating. I ended up with a 1 foot 'Subway' sandwich (everything on it), chips and a Vitamin Water bottle (I am trying to delay the onset of scurvy as far as possible).
Soubhanallah, if Allah wants to keep me alive, He will decide how and for how long, I am not worried at all; even though I would rather leave this earthly place ASAP if you ask me. But He decided to put me here in the first place and He decided when and how I shall leave as well : none of it is up to me. A few more hours or days or weeks spent in this 2nd order of reality, is just an opportunity for more utterances of 'Alhamdulillah', 'Astaghfirullah', 'la Ilaha Illallah'...etc. After all, He created mankind and Jinnkind only to worship Him, that is our primary mission while our Soul is anchored to our earthly body.
As for that nice lady goes, who volunteered to buy me food tonight without me even asking, it is a reminder that there are still some beautiful servants of Allah, still hanging to their good side, despite all the anger, the hatred, the narcissism and the utter selfishness plaguing most people nowadays. Out of the blessing of Allah, once in a while, He will put some on your path when need be.
2017 08 16 (2) Wednesday
20h15 : I am at the truck-stop. I am starving. I ate the 2 little cans left and the crackers. I have $4.25 left. I go to 'Dunkin Donuts', order 1 small hot chocolate and 2 muffins. I am really starving or it is that MSG they stuff every commercial food with, that stimulates the appetite.
When the counter girl was preparing another customer's order, she drops 2 little donuts on the floor. When she hands me my bag. I ask her to put them in it. She is going to throw them anyway. She asks "Are you sure ?." I reply "Positive, a hungry belly is not fussy". A female customer did some stupid laugh, the kind that I can not stand but I wouldn't know how to describe (of superiority mixed with fake "coolness", maybe)
I ate, did some writing and web surfing, then went back home before daylight.
When the counter girl was preparing another customer's order, she drops 2 little donuts on the floor. When she hands me my bag. I ask her to put them in it. She is going to throw them anyway. She asks "Are you sure ?." I reply "Positive, a hungry belly is not fussy". A female customer did some stupid laugh, the kind that I can not stand but I wouldn't know how to describe (of superiority mixed with fake "coolness", maybe)
I ate, did some writing and web surfing, then went back home before daylight.
2017 08 16 (1) Wednesday
05h30 : I am still at the truck-stop waiting for daylight. I am hungry. Not too many people around, so I gather my courage and asks a guy who was having a large soup if he could buy me the same ($1.99). He replied : "No".
I go sit on a bench.
Around 07h. a truck driver from Arkansas and with whom I had a little chit-chat yesterday (I told him I was a hobo) while he was eating before going to bed, just woke up and was going to buy his breakfast. He says 'Hi'. I say 'Hi' and I ask him to buy me a hot chocolate if he could. He says nothing. On his way back he tells me that he didn't hear very well what I said, but that he will just give me some bills and buy whatever myself. He gives me $4.
Now I have $4.25, 2 little cans of pork-based meat 'Denver' gave me and a few crackers. I go to bed happy that at least tonight I am going to eat, Insha'Allah.
I go sit on a bench.
Around 07h. a truck driver from Arkansas and with whom I had a little chit-chat yesterday (I told him I was a hobo) while he was eating before going to bed, just woke up and was going to buy his breakfast. He says 'Hi'. I say 'Hi' and I ask him to buy me a hot chocolate if he could. He says nothing. On his way back he tells me that he didn't hear very well what I said, but that he will just give me some bills and buy whatever myself. He gives me $4.
Now I have $4.25, 2 little cans of pork-based meat 'Denver' gave me and a few crackers. I go to bed happy that at least tonight I am going to eat, Insha'Allah.
2017 08 15, Tuesday
Time ?. According to the sun's position, maybe ~ 12h. I woke up a few hrs ago. I stayed in bed thinking. talking to Allah, asking Him if all this hard journey is because He is angry with me, or is it just how He chose to design the movie of my life when He created my soul and anchored it to this body ?. I am also just observing the insects/bugs all around me (ants, spiders,...etc).
I feel weak and my mouth is full of mucus. My tongue must be swollen with hungry colonies of candida. When I fast, they go into survival mode : they come to the surface and form strings (hyphae).
I am tired. Going back to sleep. My right kidney is still sore + a bit of a headache.
21h : I spent the day at home. Though it was not cold, it has been raining heavily !!. The plastic sheet under which I have my stuff and my bed did hold so far and it is a blessing, but it was not enough : my bed is wet, my shoes and some of the clothes I took from the drop off box are wet too. Mosquitoes are very bothersome and I am starving.
So I head to the truck-stop with my little bag in which I put the canned meat 'Denver' gave me, the crackers and the pouches of mayo, ketchup,...etc.
Once there, I stand next to the shops entrance, trying to locate a fellow human being and see if I have enough courage to ask him/her if he/she could buy me a sandwich. I see a female with a fancy looking Iphone, a brand name T-shirt, so I gather my courage and say "excuse me miss...", she shuts me off by waving her hand in a demeaning way. That's the kind of people who make up the majority of BS NYC, that I want to get away from forever.
Having been reminded of the world I am in, I went sat on a bench, ate 2 cans of pork meat, stuffed with mayo and other condiments. I shared some crackers with a colony of ants which they seemed to have appreciated.
An hour later, while still sitting on the bench, a guy asked me for a lighter. He lit his cigarette and seemed relieved to have found my lighter. I told him he can keep it. He offered me $1. for it, but my reflex was to say to him "it's OK don't worry about it". A moment later, it occurred to me that with my .25 cents left and his $1., I could buy a donut. So I went back to him and asked for the $1. I bought one donut, stuffed it with jelly from the pouches and felt like a king. My belly is full for tonight, Alhamdulillah.
I then went to the restroom to brush my teeth (I hope no toothache will show up with all the sugar and flour I have been eating). In the mirror, I see that I have a LOT of bite marks on my forehead and some on my neck. I have them on my forearms as well. I don't know what bug inflicted that on me, but it is not a pretty sight. At least it is not itchy nor painful. I hope I will be able to get a bed sheet from a worker at the motel next weekend, so I can fully cover myself when sleeping.
Between the heavy rain this morning and then again late afternoon, there was a period of sunshine. During that period of sunshine, I was laying down in my wet clothes and wet bed, thinking and pondering, then I asked Allah "Does all the weight that keeps piling up on my shoulders since I was born (candida, soul-mangling father, a mother who did her part too messing up my soul (like changing her tampon in front of me when I was a child like if I was non-existant...etc), stuttering, cancer, HMO financial burden for 12 years, prostatitis, my beloved cat snatched by cancer, another beloved cat got her back skin ripped by a car (she healed), ...etc), is that weight a sign that all my good actions, generosity, efforts to better myself for your sake and caring toward man and animals for your sake, is all that not accepted ?. At that moment I saw a tree like if it had christmas decorations on it, blue light, yellow light...etc. So I interpreted that pretty sight as a sign not to give up on the generosity of Allah and His forgiveness.
That light on the tree, was the result of the sun's rays and the droplets of rain water on the tree branches. It lasted a few minutes while the sun was at a certain position.
I feel weak and my mouth is full of mucus. My tongue must be swollen with hungry colonies of candida. When I fast, they go into survival mode : they come to the surface and form strings (hyphae).
I am tired. Going back to sleep. My right kidney is still sore + a bit of a headache.
21h : I spent the day at home. Though it was not cold, it has been raining heavily !!. The plastic sheet under which I have my stuff and my bed did hold so far and it is a blessing, but it was not enough : my bed is wet, my shoes and some of the clothes I took from the drop off box are wet too. Mosquitoes are very bothersome and I am starving.
So I head to the truck-stop with my little bag in which I put the canned meat 'Denver' gave me, the crackers and the pouches of mayo, ketchup,...etc.
Once there, I stand next to the shops entrance, trying to locate a fellow human being and see if I have enough courage to ask him/her if he/she could buy me a sandwich. I see a female with a fancy looking Iphone, a brand name T-shirt, so I gather my courage and say "excuse me miss...", she shuts me off by waving her hand in a demeaning way. That's the kind of people who make up the majority of BS NYC, that I want to get away from forever.
Having been reminded of the world I am in, I went sat on a bench, ate 2 cans of pork meat, stuffed with mayo and other condiments. I shared some crackers with a colony of ants which they seemed to have appreciated.
An hour later, while still sitting on the bench, a guy asked me for a lighter. He lit his cigarette and seemed relieved to have found my lighter. I told him he can keep it. He offered me $1. for it, but my reflex was to say to him "it's OK don't worry about it". A moment later, it occurred to me that with my .25 cents left and his $1., I could buy a donut. So I went back to him and asked for the $1. I bought one donut, stuffed it with jelly from the pouches and felt like a king. My belly is full for tonight, Alhamdulillah.
I then went to the restroom to brush my teeth (I hope no toothache will show up with all the sugar and flour I have been eating). In the mirror, I see that I have a LOT of bite marks on my forehead and some on my neck. I have them on my forearms as well. I don't know what bug inflicted that on me, but it is not a pretty sight. At least it is not itchy nor painful. I hope I will be able to get a bed sheet from a worker at the motel next weekend, so I can fully cover myself when sleeping.
Between the heavy rain this morning and then again late afternoon, there was a period of sunshine. During that period of sunshine, I was laying down in my wet clothes and wet bed, thinking and pondering, then I asked Allah "Does all the weight that keeps piling up on my shoulders since I was born (candida, soul-mangling father, a mother who did her part too messing up my soul (like changing her tampon in front of me when I was a child like if I was non-existant...etc), stuttering, cancer, HMO financial burden for 12 years, prostatitis, my beloved cat snatched by cancer, another beloved cat got her back skin ripped by a car (she healed), ...etc), is that weight a sign that all my good actions, generosity, efforts to better myself for your sake and caring toward man and animals for your sake, is all that not accepted ?. At that moment I saw a tree like if it had christmas decorations on it, blue light, yellow light...etc. So I interpreted that pretty sight as a sign not to give up on the generosity of Allah and His forgiveness.
That light on the tree, was the result of the sun's rays and the droplets of rain water on the tree branches. It lasted a few minutes while the sun was at a certain position.
2017 08 14, Monday
I have no idea what time was it when I woke up (my phone battery does not hold the charge). The weather is nice. I dreamed of my beloved cats, the only earthly concern on my mind. Flattened by sadness, I stayed in bed a few more hours.
When I got up, I rearranged my camp. It is now much more comfortable and hopefully not too vulnerable to rain, Insha'Allah.
I try not to kill any insects/bugs, aside from mosquitoes that are more than happy to feed on my blood. The other day, unfortunately I had to murder a big beautiful yellow wasp. He kept hovering very close to me, looking me in the eyes, and he wouldn't go away even when I tried to scare him. At least now he will be food to the many spiders dwelling on the ground (they don't build nets !!).
When I have a chance, I am going to ask an employee at the motel nearby if I can have a bed sheet to cover myself with, to protect myself against mosquitoes and other insects that bite.
Yesterday, Sunday around 20h30, I had a hot chocolate and a donut.
20h (~) : Still little bit of daylight. I spent the day home, thinking, pondering and taking short naps. I didn't go to the center Monday, I stayed home. Now, as I am trying to avoid the bosses and the dayshift manager, I go to the truck-stop only at night after 20h or the weekend.
My right kidney is hurting me. Maybe because I don't drink enough, or maybe because of urine retention caused by Prostatitis.
When I got up, I rearranged my camp. It is now much more comfortable and hopefully not too vulnerable to rain, Insha'Allah.
I try not to kill any insects/bugs, aside from mosquitoes that are more than happy to feed on my blood. The other day, unfortunately I had to murder a big beautiful yellow wasp. He kept hovering very close to me, looking me in the eyes, and he wouldn't go away even when I tried to scare him. At least now he will be food to the many spiders dwelling on the ground (they don't build nets !!).
When I have a chance, I am going to ask an employee at the motel nearby if I can have a bed sheet to cover myself with, to protect myself against mosquitoes and other insects that bite.
Yesterday, Sunday around 20h30, I had a hot chocolate and a donut.
20h (~) : Still little bit of daylight. I spent the day home, thinking, pondering and taking short naps. I didn't go to the center Monday, I stayed home. Now, as I am trying to avoid the bosses and the dayshift manager, I go to the truck-stop only at night after 20h or the weekend.
My right kidney is hurting me. Maybe because I don't drink enough, or maybe because of urine retention caused by Prostatitis.
Friday, August 18, 2017
2017 08 13, Sunday
14h : I woke up around 09h. I had plenty of nightmares (dysfunctional family, my beloved cat 'Lamanoush' who spent 14 years with me until she died of cancer in October 2014,...etc).
I slept very deeply and as a result I leaked urine. It does happen since I contracted prostatitis in Sept. 2008 (caused by BCG instillation).
Today it is cloudy and humid. It is difficult to dry anything.
Once at the truck-stop, I drink at the Subway fountain, I take a little sun bath before going online and recharging my Samsung phone.
After a while, the AC is too cold so I go outside. I hope to get a bowel mvmnt before going back to my camp after sunset because of the mosquitoes being more active around sunset and sunrise.
20h30 : I am hungry. I still have $3.75. I took a hot chocolate and a donut. The bowel mvmnt happened finally a few hours later, Alhamdulillah. As a side note, when on a junk-food diet, good luck having a bowel mvmnt.
Now I have .25 cents left, along with the 4 cans of pork-based meat, 'Denver' gave me. Not to mention the many pouches of mayo ketchup etc I took here and there.
I go to the drop off box. This time using my flashlight and climbing to see what's inside, I am able to get some more clothes (long sleeves this time, even though for women I do not care, as long as I can protect my skin from insect bites and occasional night cold).
I head back home, though it is dark, it is not a problem with the flashlight 'Denver' gave me. I remove the batteries during daytime to make it last as long as possible.
Sometimes, my mind start wondering : what if the batteries die ?. What if winter comes ?. What if this, what if that...Then I remind myself : it is all in the "hands" of Allah, He saw the beginning of it and He saw the end of it, and He saw everything in between, all before it even happened in the realm of Time. If He wants hardship to occur, it will occur. If He wants easiness to occur, it will occur. He has all the keys and absolutely everything belongs to Him. So I just have to relax and go through the movie of my life as it has been designed. Besides, to each day enough its toil.
I slept very deeply and as a result I leaked urine. It does happen since I contracted prostatitis in Sept. 2008 (caused by BCG instillation).
Today it is cloudy and humid. It is difficult to dry anything.
Once at the truck-stop, I drink at the Subway fountain, I take a little sun bath before going online and recharging my Samsung phone.
After a while, the AC is too cold so I go outside. I hope to get a bowel mvmnt before going back to my camp after sunset because of the mosquitoes being more active around sunset and sunrise.
20h30 : I am hungry. I still have $3.75. I took a hot chocolate and a donut. The bowel mvmnt happened finally a few hours later, Alhamdulillah. As a side note, when on a junk-food diet, good luck having a bowel mvmnt.
Now I have .25 cents left, along with the 4 cans of pork-based meat, 'Denver' gave me. Not to mention the many pouches of mayo ketchup etc I took here and there.
I go to the drop off box. This time using my flashlight and climbing to see what's inside, I am able to get some more clothes (long sleeves this time, even though for women I do not care, as long as I can protect my skin from insect bites and occasional night cold).
I head back home, though it is dark, it is not a problem with the flashlight 'Denver' gave me. I remove the batteries during daytime to make it last as long as possible.
Sometimes, my mind start wondering : what if the batteries die ?. What if winter comes ?. What if this, what if that...Then I remind myself : it is all in the "hands" of Allah, He saw the beginning of it and He saw the end of it, and He saw everything in between, all before it even happened in the realm of Time. If He wants hardship to occur, it will occur. If He wants easiness to occur, it will occur. He has all the keys and absolutely everything belongs to Him. So I just have to relax and go through the movie of my life as it has been designed. Besides, to each day enough its toil.
Thursday, August 17, 2017
2017 08 12 (2). Saturday
I woke up maybe around 11h. I stay in bed a little bit then head to the truck-stop. I wash my face, trying to make myself a little bit presentable to go ask for a job at the nearby motel. I asked there already but today there is a different person at the desk, so I try my luck. She tells me that I have to go through the official channels, whish doesn't work for me.
So I just go sit under the sun, shirtless and barefoot, trying to dry (successfully) my wet clothes from the rain of yesterday night. Then I go power-plug my galaxy s3 to do some writings. I can not use it without having it plugged because of the battery needing to be changed.
I head to my camp before sunset, my bed is still wet and the mosquitoes are there to welcome me !!!.
No food today.
So I just go sit under the sun, shirtless and barefoot, trying to dry (successfully) my wet clothes from the rain of yesterday night. Then I go power-plug my galaxy s3 to do some writings. I can not use it without having it plugged because of the battery needing to be changed.
I head to my camp before sunset, my bed is still wet and the mosquitoes are there to welcome me !!!.
No food today.
2017 08 12 (1) Friday 23h -> Saturday 07h
Belly full (I stuffed the sandwich and the donuts with mayo. Ketchup jelly...etc. trying to store as much calories for my happy fasting ahead, kind of my last meal !!) and having shaved, I am sitting on a bench inside the center, observing people/zombies coming and going. I count my money. I have .75 cents left and the Pork based cans 'Denver' gave me. I leave the coins on the bench and go outside where it is warmer (cold AC inside).
I felt light, relieved and happy to have $0. now : At least I have tried. NOT SO FAST AMIGO !!! ((lol). While I was standing outside, belly super full, a young black man in his early 20's, asks me about a bus. I spontaneously replied : "ask someone else, I am just the new local hobo". He immediately and spontaneously proposed to buy me a sandwich with insistence while holding the door open. After I refused, he asks me if I would buy food if he gives me whatever cash he has on him. I politely replied : "I appreciate your generosity but I would prefer if you don't". He searches his pockets, came up with $3. and insisted that I take it. I took it, thinking "well, well, well....I am not off the hook yet !!" (lol). I went to the bench and took the .75 cents I left there. Now I have $3.75.
Earlier, I asked for a toasted bagel at 'Dunkin Donuts'. It took a few minutes to prepare. When it was ready, the counter guy called "Toasted Bagel Ready". I took it, went back to my sit. There was an order of hash browns inside, free, with the bagel.
Sometime early Saturday morning (~2h), 2 full buses make a stop here. They are heading to NYC for a weekend of shopping. I just stood on a corner, observing their coming and going. They are feeling so cocky, asking one another stupid unnecessary questions - an old trick of attention seekers - they laugh at their own jokes, assault the driver with even more stupid questions...etc. They are the typical folks totally in love with the system and their rulers.
They pretend not to know what pain and suffering those devils they are hiding behind, are causing to the world. In exchange for their complicity, they are rewarded with a relatively comfortable life (so far). Their hypocrisy and selfishness extend to their spirituality as well, as reminded by the writings on some of their shirt "praising Jesus", because He suffered on the cross for THEIR sins, that is why they pretend to love him, because HE was nailed for THEIR sins (so they think !!!).
I am fully acquainted with their kind. When I used to have them in my taxi, when they ask me if I was in NYC on 9-11, I reply yes and that the official story of 9-11 is a big lie...etc. They immediately start to try to change the subject, look out the window and totally ignore what I was saying...etc. 'Hypocrites' is a too weak word to describe them. They were hoping to recruit me in their world of lies by starting a conversation on 9-11. Wrong guy, parasites.
Another one of their trick to try to raise energy in favor of their devilish masters - aside from going around recruiting people to have them pretend that they believe the official story of 9-11 - is by asking me the name of the new tower at the wtc, so they would have me say "Freedom" tower. I never uttered that disgusting name, I used to simply say that I don't know and that they will be told once I drive them there.
It is incredible the world of hypocrisy we live in, and it is unbelievable the commitment to being fake, phony and a good pretender, some people have made. I think they are responsible too (along with their masters) for making this planet a hellish place, because they willingly lend their energy to the forces of evil and unfortunately they are not a minority. Even those who remain silent and/or indifferent in the face of lies and injustice are in fact lending their energy to the forces of evil, for "he who remains silent is understood to consent". And that include most of my fellow Muslims, with whom I rarely get along with or like their energy.
After the bus left, a female with a pittbul dog comes. I started to interact with the dog and play with him. I always had an intense love for animals and it relaxes me to interact with them, almost like a spiritual experience. Basking in the beautiful energy of the dog, I remembered my 4 cats left behind, so I had to walk a few feet away to cry.
As it started raining, I went and sat on a bench waiting for daylight before I head to my camp. I did some more crying remembering the vicious non-stop putting-down soul-mangling I had to endure by my father. Alhamdulillah, crying is like a release valve and Alhamdulillah nothing is to last forever.
I felt light, relieved and happy to have $0. now : At least I have tried. NOT SO FAST AMIGO !!! ((lol). While I was standing outside, belly super full, a young black man in his early 20's, asks me about a bus. I spontaneously replied : "ask someone else, I am just the new local hobo". He immediately and spontaneously proposed to buy me a sandwich with insistence while holding the door open. After I refused, he asks me if I would buy food if he gives me whatever cash he has on him. I politely replied : "I appreciate your generosity but I would prefer if you don't". He searches his pockets, came up with $3. and insisted that I take it. I took it, thinking "well, well, well....I am not off the hook yet !!" (lol). I went to the bench and took the .75 cents I left there. Now I have $3.75.
Earlier, I asked for a toasted bagel at 'Dunkin Donuts'. It took a few minutes to prepare. When it was ready, the counter guy called "Toasted Bagel Ready". I took it, went back to my sit. There was an order of hash browns inside, free, with the bagel.
Sometime early Saturday morning (~2h), 2 full buses make a stop here. They are heading to NYC for a weekend of shopping. I just stood on a corner, observing their coming and going. They are feeling so cocky, asking one another stupid unnecessary questions - an old trick of attention seekers - they laugh at their own jokes, assault the driver with even more stupid questions...etc. They are the typical folks totally in love with the system and their rulers.
They pretend not to know what pain and suffering those devils they are hiding behind, are causing to the world. In exchange for their complicity, they are rewarded with a relatively comfortable life (so far). Their hypocrisy and selfishness extend to their spirituality as well, as reminded by the writings on some of their shirt "praising Jesus", because He suffered on the cross for THEIR sins, that is why they pretend to love him, because HE was nailed for THEIR sins (so they think !!!).
I am fully acquainted with their kind. When I used to have them in my taxi, when they ask me if I was in NYC on 9-11, I reply yes and that the official story of 9-11 is a big lie...etc. They immediately start to try to change the subject, look out the window and totally ignore what I was saying...etc. 'Hypocrites' is a too weak word to describe them. They were hoping to recruit me in their world of lies by starting a conversation on 9-11. Wrong guy, parasites.
Another one of their trick to try to raise energy in favor of their devilish masters - aside from going around recruiting people to have them pretend that they believe the official story of 9-11 - is by asking me the name of the new tower at the wtc, so they would have me say "Freedom" tower. I never uttered that disgusting name, I used to simply say that I don't know and that they will be told once I drive them there.
It is incredible the world of hypocrisy we live in, and it is unbelievable the commitment to being fake, phony and a good pretender, some people have made. I think they are responsible too (along with their masters) for making this planet a hellish place, because they willingly lend their energy to the forces of evil and unfortunately they are not a minority. Even those who remain silent and/or indifferent in the face of lies and injustice are in fact lending their energy to the forces of evil, for "he who remains silent is understood to consent". And that include most of my fellow Muslims, with whom I rarely get along with or like their energy.
After the bus left, a female with a pittbul dog comes. I started to interact with the dog and play with him. I always had an intense love for animals and it relaxes me to interact with them, almost like a spiritual experience. Basking in the beautiful energy of the dog, I remembered my 4 cats left behind, so I had to walk a few feet away to cry.
As it started raining, I went and sat on a bench waiting for daylight before I head to my camp. I did some more crying remembering the vicious non-stop putting-down soul-mangling I had to endure by my father. Alhamdulillah, crying is like a release valve and Alhamdulillah nothing is to last forever.
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
2017 08 11 (2) Friday
19h30 : I wake up, get ready to head to the truck-stop after 20h. After 20h, because now I am trying to avoid the day shift manager and the bosses. I didn't attract the sheriff's deputies' attention yet, as I look like just another traveler sitting at a table and typing on his phone. Saturday at 03h, I shaved, and by the grace of Allah, my shirt (one of the 4 ones I found in the drop off box, is still clean-looking and comfortable). How long before I start looking like a veteran hobo ?.
I was going to fast for a few days as a management of my bladder carcinoma. But I am just too tired and dispirited after my hitch Hicking experience. I bought 1 foot long 'Subway' sandwich, went to 'Dunkin Donuts' shop, bought more sugar and floor-based junk-food and sat there to eat and use WiFi. I decided to spend all the few dollars I have left.
I am very tired and at least I have tried. May Allah forgive me, but the thought of leaving this place after a few weeks of hunger and dehydration -alone in the woods - is sweet to me. It felt like a punishment since the beginning, as I am certain I have been exposed to pre-natal stress and the problems and the blows have never stopped since then. No need to mention the ruling class and their ploys to make life more difficult for everybody non-stop. 9-11, the ultimate false flag terror attack of our time, was like a green light to pile up more and more weight on everybody's back since no one challenged their lies and evil deeds. 9-11 was a green light also for every negative tendency on the side of the hypocrites being ruled and abused : narcissism, selfishness, greed, hypocrisy, being utterly fake, obedience to the system and compliance to it while hating on their fellow man...etc.
My father - may he be cursed - is a vicious covert narcissist, who happen to have found in his children the ideal retaliation-free targets. I have been told a few years ago by an uncle that my older sister is having violent nervous breakdowns (she rolls on the floor, pulls the curtains...etc). Her father had her hooked on anti-depressants and I was told that now she is like a zombie.
I was going to fast for a few days as a management of my bladder carcinoma. But I am just too tired and dispirited after my hitch Hicking experience. I bought 1 foot long 'Subway' sandwich, went to 'Dunkin Donuts' shop, bought more sugar and floor-based junk-food and sat there to eat and use WiFi. I decided to spend all the few dollars I have left.
I am very tired and at least I have tried. May Allah forgive me, but the thought of leaving this place after a few weeks of hunger and dehydration -alone in the woods - is sweet to me. It felt like a punishment since the beginning, as I am certain I have been exposed to pre-natal stress and the problems and the blows have never stopped since then. No need to mention the ruling class and their ploys to make life more difficult for everybody non-stop. 9-11, the ultimate false flag terror attack of our time, was like a green light to pile up more and more weight on everybody's back since no one challenged their lies and evil deeds. 9-11 was a green light also for every negative tendency on the side of the hypocrites being ruled and abused : narcissism, selfishness, greed, hypocrisy, being utterly fake, obedience to the system and compliance to it while hating on their fellow man...etc.
My father - may he be cursed - is a vicious covert narcissist, who happen to have found in his children the ideal retaliation-free targets. I have been told a few years ago by an uncle that my older sister is having violent nervous breakdowns (she rolls on the floor, pulls the curtains...etc). Her father had her hooked on anti-depressants and I was told that now she is like a zombie.
Tuesday, August 15, 2017
2017 08 11 (1), Friday
13h50 : Finally Home (ie : improvised camp in the woods) !!. At least this time no hillbily took off with my humble stuff. I learned the hard way, before setting up such camp, take a look around to see if there is litter around. That was the case where my bag disappeared, but not at my current location.
Since 08h this morning, I have been walking and hitch hiking while fasting since yesterday morning around 08h. I am exhausted to say the least, physically and emotionally. Near where I am, there are 2 "towns", about 30 miles away from my place in each direction.
My hope was to try to find a job (off the books, of course : no ruling class chains around my neck,) before I start looking like a hobo officially. Not to mention I only have $19. left.
First, I tried to hitch hick south while walking along the highway. Nobody would stop, I walked maybe 4 miles, back and forth. Then I tried going north. Nobody would stop (I wonder if they would have stopped for "their lord and savior, Jesus". I highly doubt it, judging by their hypocritical, self- condescending look on their faces.
After 1 hour of baking in the Sun, just as I was to give up and return to my beautiful home, an old retired black man finally stops. I ask if he is going there, he says yes. I ask if it is too much out of his way, he says no. So I get in, we chit-chat about god, life's tests and trials...etc. All of a sudden he tells me he had to go see his son, and drops me 4 miles away from the agreed upon destination.
Tired and thirsty, I walk to the so-called town. What they call "town" here, is some big-chains commercial centers, almost empty. When I ask some local folks, quite a few felt like if they have been bitten recently by a vicious Tsetse fly (I know, I am evil for saying that, and I deserve my hardship).
There is no hiring off the books here. Everybody is anxious to comply with the masters' laws and they are proud of it. Tonight, they will probably go plant themselves in front of TV, eat some more junk-food and praise "the lord Jesus" for having a job and for destroying their god-given biochemistry with chips and Dunkin Donuts. They will also praise "their savior Jesus" to be "free" in the "greatest country in the world".
I have to walk back 4 miles in the scorching heat to the highway entrance and hitch hike a ride home. I am thirsty, exhausted and hungry (fasting a little bit more than 24 hrs). I stop at a MacDonald, pretending to look at the menu, then I just put some water in a cup and leave.
Some more baking in the sun. Nobody stops. As they pass me by in their fancy-looking cars, I can read the hypocrisy on their faces and feel their negative energy. Hallelujah, another retired old black man stops, driving a run down truck with bushes in the back (he does landscaping). Before I get in, I made sure to let him know where I am going (name of the truck stop and the exit # off the highway). I insist and ask him if he knows where it is. Yes is the answer. I get in and he tells me first he has make a quick stop to unload his truck. Sure, who has free time but me. Once there, I remove my shirt and help him unload. I direct him back to the highway, he misses the entrance, keeps going around....etc.
As it turned out, he has no idea where I am going despite being a local. He just stopped to break the monotony of his life, like the other one who brought me here. Directing him, and telling him to just follow my directions, we finally take the correct highway. After 5 mns driving, he starts complaining that it is too far, he has work to do, I am wasting his time...etc.
Obviously I underestimated the viciousness of the Tsetse fly who bit some folks in this part of the world. He wanted to drop me on the highway (the area is crawling with State Police and Sheriff's deputies). I was able to convince him to take me to my highway exit and I had him promise me not to be angry at me once he leaves. I am finally home, exhausted physically and emotionally.
I wanted to write some notes in the blank page book I bought (my Samsung phone battery does not hold charge anymore) , but I am just too tired and fell asleep.
Since 08h this morning, I have been walking and hitch hiking while fasting since yesterday morning around 08h. I am exhausted to say the least, physically and emotionally. Near where I am, there are 2 "towns", about 30 miles away from my place in each direction.
My hope was to try to find a job (off the books, of course : no ruling class chains around my neck,) before I start looking like a hobo officially. Not to mention I only have $19. left.
First, I tried to hitch hick south while walking along the highway. Nobody would stop, I walked maybe 4 miles, back and forth. Then I tried going north. Nobody would stop (I wonder if they would have stopped for "their lord and savior, Jesus". I highly doubt it, judging by their hypocritical, self- condescending look on their faces.
After 1 hour of baking in the Sun, just as I was to give up and return to my beautiful home, an old retired black man finally stops. I ask if he is going there, he says yes. I ask if it is too much out of his way, he says no. So I get in, we chit-chat about god, life's tests and trials...etc. All of a sudden he tells me he had to go see his son, and drops me 4 miles away from the agreed upon destination.
Tired and thirsty, I walk to the so-called town. What they call "town" here, is some big-chains commercial centers, almost empty. When I ask some local folks, quite a few felt like if they have been bitten recently by a vicious Tsetse fly (I know, I am evil for saying that, and I deserve my hardship).
There is no hiring off the books here. Everybody is anxious to comply with the masters' laws and they are proud of it. Tonight, they will probably go plant themselves in front of TV, eat some more junk-food and praise "the lord Jesus" for having a job and for destroying their god-given biochemistry with chips and Dunkin Donuts. They will also praise "their savior Jesus" to be "free" in the "greatest country in the world".
I have to walk back 4 miles in the scorching heat to the highway entrance and hitch hike a ride home. I am thirsty, exhausted and hungry (fasting a little bit more than 24 hrs). I stop at a MacDonald, pretending to look at the menu, then I just put some water in a cup and leave.
Some more baking in the sun. Nobody stops. As they pass me by in their fancy-looking cars, I can read the hypocrisy on their faces and feel their negative energy. Hallelujah, another retired old black man stops, driving a run down truck with bushes in the back (he does landscaping). Before I get in, I made sure to let him know where I am going (name of the truck stop and the exit # off the highway). I insist and ask him if he knows where it is. Yes is the answer. I get in and he tells me first he has make a quick stop to unload his truck. Sure, who has free time but me. Once there, I remove my shirt and help him unload. I direct him back to the highway, he misses the entrance, keeps going around....etc.
As it turned out, he has no idea where I am going despite being a local. He just stopped to break the monotony of his life, like the other one who brought me here. Directing him, and telling him to just follow my directions, we finally take the correct highway. After 5 mns driving, he starts complaining that it is too far, he has work to do, I am wasting his time...etc.
Obviously I underestimated the viciousness of the Tsetse fly who bit some folks in this part of the world. He wanted to drop me on the highway (the area is crawling with State Police and Sheriff's deputies). I was able to convince him to take me to my highway exit and I had him promise me not to be angry at me once he leaves. I am finally home, exhausted physically and emotionally.
I wanted to write some notes in the blank page book I bought (my Samsung phone battery does not hold charge anymore) , but I am just too tired and fell asleep.
2017 08 10 (4) Thursday
23h : Earlier, around 2 PM, I set up my new little camp in a different place in the woods. The stuff that 'Denver' gave me were really helpful to say the least (plastic sheet, rope and boxcutter). She definitely knows her stuff. At first, when I saw a rope in the little bag she gave me, I thought to myself : "A rope ?. You expect me to hang myself ?. Sorry baby. We Muslims don't hang ourselves, we use detonation !' (lol).
The rope and the boxcutter turned out to be very helpful to attach the plastic sheet to trees and have my dwelling underneath it. I laid a large plastic bag as my bed. The weather was gorgeous, topless and barefeet, I found a sunny spot and just sat there, taking in the sun and super relaxing, trying to purge the enormous load of negative energy accumulated these past 23 years in BS NYC.
After my sunbath, I put my shirt back on and laid down pondering and relaxing even more. I remembered my cats and - shedding tears - I asked Allah to spare them stress, anxiety and hardship. I hope the landlord contacted those cat-people from the list I gave him and they came to take good care of them.
While laying down, pondering and observing nature around me, without even forcing it, I was praising Allah (Alhamdulillah, Astaghfirullah...etc). Being in this environment, seemed to have kicked in my spiritual healing already. Not intending to harp on it. but life in NYC, is like being dipped in a pool of shit : May Allah curse those individuals (bureaucrats, politicians...etc) who make it a duty of theirs to pile up as much stress, anxiety and grief on people's shoulders. I can't help thinking that - more often than not - it seems as a symbiotic relationship between the oppressed and the oppressors, for they are as nasty, phony and dislikeable as one another !!.
Anyway, Alhamdulillah for plucking me out of there (I'll relate later - Insha'Allah - the few days before I JUST LEFT abruptly !) : being right now in the woods - surrounded by ants, beautiful spiders, other insects and chirping birds - is by far better to me than being in the Sheraton Hotel in Times Square, surrounded by the negative energy of zombies, unaware - or worse, in love - with their enslavement, and the negative energy their hungry ego radiates.
As I was saying to that christian young black man early this morning at the Donut shop (he came to pick up his white gf who is a night shift cashier at the center) : Allah created us primarily to worship Him and He put us on this earth to manage it. The ruling class and their armies of narcissistic bureaucrats - ie : Satan's minions - hate Allah and His Creation, so they do everything they can to distract us from our primarily mission while spreading fear, pain and destruction all over the planet. Unfortunately, most people are consenting by doing their very best to look the other way ("he who remains silent is understood to consent"). We definitely weren't created to chase careers, the latest iphones, Nike shoes, paying mortgages, paying taxes, sitting in front of TV 6 hrs per day, laughing on command, crying on command,...etc. How can we worship Allah - as we ought to - when we are drowning in BS concerns, stress, anxiety, BS distractions, mind games to feed the ego...etc ?. It is simply impossible. Forgive me if I sound like I am pontificating and/or judgemental.
It is getting cold in here (Donut shop) because of the AC. I am going to see if they have 1 gallon bottled water at the nearby store, see if I can reach for some clothes in the drop off box nearby (I need a warm hat, long sleeve shirt and a decent looking pant (I have only 1 wearable short). I still have $27.
I am looking to some fasting for the next few days (except water). Money concerns aside and having a history of Bladder Cancer (a story for another day Insha'Allah), fasting simply kills the tumor because its glucose requirement is much higher than healthy cells. When I used to fast in NYC, after the 3rd day, I started peeing chunks of dead tumor. See the "Warburg Effect" (wikipedia : "Malignant, rapidly growing tumor cells typically have glycolytic rates up to 200 times higher than those of their normal tissues of origin; this occurs even if oxygen is plentiful."). I didn't see an oncologist since Sept. 2008 when he instilled BCG in my bladder and it infected my Prostate (Prostatitis) with the Intracellular Mycobacteria. When I told him, he nonchalantly replied "When it rains, you get wet". I doubt he would have said that, if I were white and wealthy. Whatever it is, Alhamdulillah, all is just part of the movie of my life, the pleasant as well as the unpleasant.
Signing off : 2017 08 11, 02h, Friday.
The rope and the boxcutter turned out to be very helpful to attach the plastic sheet to trees and have my dwelling underneath it. I laid a large plastic bag as my bed. The weather was gorgeous, topless and barefeet, I found a sunny spot and just sat there, taking in the sun and super relaxing, trying to purge the enormous load of negative energy accumulated these past 23 years in BS NYC.
After my sunbath, I put my shirt back on and laid down pondering and relaxing even more. I remembered my cats and - shedding tears - I asked Allah to spare them stress, anxiety and hardship. I hope the landlord contacted those cat-people from the list I gave him and they came to take good care of them.
While laying down, pondering and observing nature around me, without even forcing it, I was praising Allah (Alhamdulillah, Astaghfirullah...etc). Being in this environment, seemed to have kicked in my spiritual healing already. Not intending to harp on it. but life in NYC, is like being dipped in a pool of shit : May Allah curse those individuals (bureaucrats, politicians...etc) who make it a duty of theirs to pile up as much stress, anxiety and grief on people's shoulders. I can't help thinking that - more often than not - it seems as a symbiotic relationship between the oppressed and the oppressors, for they are as nasty, phony and dislikeable as one another !!.
Anyway, Alhamdulillah for plucking me out of there (I'll relate later - Insha'Allah - the few days before I JUST LEFT abruptly !) : being right now in the woods - surrounded by ants, beautiful spiders, other insects and chirping birds - is by far better to me than being in the Sheraton Hotel in Times Square, surrounded by the negative energy of zombies, unaware - or worse, in love - with their enslavement, and the negative energy their hungry ego radiates.
As I was saying to that christian young black man early this morning at the Donut shop (he came to pick up his white gf who is a night shift cashier at the center) : Allah created us primarily to worship Him and He put us on this earth to manage it. The ruling class and their armies of narcissistic bureaucrats - ie : Satan's minions - hate Allah and His Creation, so they do everything they can to distract us from our primarily mission while spreading fear, pain and destruction all over the planet. Unfortunately, most people are consenting by doing their very best to look the other way ("he who remains silent is understood to consent"). We definitely weren't created to chase careers, the latest iphones, Nike shoes, paying mortgages, paying taxes, sitting in front of TV 6 hrs per day, laughing on command, crying on command,...etc. How can we worship Allah - as we ought to - when we are drowning in BS concerns, stress, anxiety, BS distractions, mind games to feed the ego...etc ?. It is simply impossible. Forgive me if I sound like I am pontificating and/or judgemental.
It is getting cold in here (Donut shop) because of the AC. I am going to see if they have 1 gallon bottled water at the nearby store, see if I can reach for some clothes in the drop off box nearby (I need a warm hat, long sleeve shirt and a decent looking pant (I have only 1 wearable short). I still have $27.
I am looking to some fasting for the next few days (except water). Money concerns aside and having a history of Bladder Cancer (a story for another day Insha'Allah), fasting simply kills the tumor because its glucose requirement is much higher than healthy cells. When I used to fast in NYC, after the 3rd day, I started peeing chunks of dead tumor. See the "Warburg Effect" (wikipedia : "Malignant, rapidly growing tumor cells typically have glycolytic rates up to 200 times higher than those of their normal tissues of origin; this occurs even if oxygen is plentiful."). I didn't see an oncologist since Sept. 2008 when he instilled BCG in my bladder and it infected my Prostate (Prostatitis) with the Intracellular Mycobacteria. When I told him, he nonchalantly replied "When it rains, you get wet". I doubt he would have said that, if I were white and wealthy. Whatever it is, Alhamdulillah, all is just part of the movie of my life, the pleasant as well as the unpleasant.
Signing off : 2017 08 11, 02h, Friday.
2017 08 10 (3)
10h45 : Yesterday night was cold, sleeping on a bench outdoor. Denver's blanket, though smelly, was definitely a blessing. Now I smell the same, and if people ask me, I'll reply : "it's my new perfume. From Paris. Very expensive.". Anyway, I don't have to worry about some hillbilly steal the blanket : the smell by itself is a strong deterrent.
While I am outside warming my bones under the sun like a cold blooded lizard, I am looking to see if a potential employer happen to have a job for me. As I am approaching this guy sitting in a van to engage him, I see a flyer on his dashboard that reads 'NSA Security Clearance Pass'. I was about to tell him : "oops, sorry. Have a nice day Sir. I hope you won't fall and break your neck, and I hope you won't become paralysed from the neck down", but I didn't.
Maybe while I am loitering at the entrance of the center, a guy will approach me and say : "Excuse me, would you happen to be looking for a job ?. We are sorry, it only pays $40./h, you have to work 6 hrs and we only serve halal food for lunch break. And sorry it is off the books". In which case I would reply :"Fill out an application. I have to think about it."......
.....So here I am warming my bones under the sun, observing these 2 well-dressed dudes directing employees doing some maintenance work. They were well-dressed, didn't look very fond of voting Democrats and definitely not fans of 911 Truth.
[Interrupted : 2 nice black ladies give me a Jehovah's Witness card. The bible verse reads : "Happy Are Those Conscious of Their Spiritual Needs" (Matthew 5:3)]
(cont.) The 2 dudes happen to be the owners of this Bus/Truck Stop. They send a very nice and understanding black guy manager to ask me what's up. I tell a story and ask him if he would prefer that I speak to them myself to make it easier on him. He said, it is better not to.
NOW, why did they have to send a poor guy speak to me, instead of approaching me themselves ?. I couldn't help think that rich people always manage to find poor people to do their work. For instance, Wars and Carnage are nothing but poor people fighting and suffering for the sake of some rich people's games.
I have to use the restroom. Once I read online that 'Subway' bread is made with a rubber-based substance, used to make rubber mats for example. Maybe that's what's upsetting my digestive track. Contact your representative to have 'Subway' use only Certified Organic rubber to make bread. Sign the petition ().
While I am outside warming my bones under the sun like a cold blooded lizard, I am looking to see if a potential employer happen to have a job for me. As I am approaching this guy sitting in a van to engage him, I see a flyer on his dashboard that reads 'NSA Security Clearance Pass'. I was about to tell him : "oops, sorry. Have a nice day Sir. I hope you won't fall and break your neck, and I hope you won't become paralysed from the neck down", but I didn't.
Maybe while I am loitering at the entrance of the center, a guy will approach me and say : "Excuse me, would you happen to be looking for a job ?. We are sorry, it only pays $40./h, you have to work 6 hrs and we only serve halal food for lunch break. And sorry it is off the books". In which case I would reply :"Fill out an application. I have to think about it."......
.....So here I am warming my bones under the sun, observing these 2 well-dressed dudes directing employees doing some maintenance work. They were well-dressed, didn't look very fond of voting Democrats and definitely not fans of 911 Truth.
[Interrupted : 2 nice black ladies give me a Jehovah's Witness card. The bible verse reads : "Happy Are Those Conscious of Their Spiritual Needs" (Matthew 5:3)]
(cont.) The 2 dudes happen to be the owners of this Bus/Truck Stop. They send a very nice and understanding black guy manager to ask me what's up. I tell a story and ask him if he would prefer that I speak to them myself to make it easier on him. He said, it is better not to.
NOW, why did they have to send a poor guy speak to me, instead of approaching me themselves ?. I couldn't help think that rich people always manage to find poor people to do their work. For instance, Wars and Carnage are nothing but poor people fighting and suffering for the sake of some rich people's games.
I have to use the restroom. Once I read online that 'Subway' bread is made with a rubber-based substance, used to make rubber mats for example. Maybe that's what's upsetting my digestive track. Contact your representative to have 'Subway' use only Certified Organic rubber to make bread. Sign the petition ().
2017 08 10 (2) (pic)
Next move ?. Nothing really, just enjoying the sun rising, the trees, the chemtrail pale-blue sky and enjoying being far away from that sewer called NYC .
Allah knows where to find me if He has some particular plans for me. Now some breakfast with Tea and industrial food that is turning my stomach upside down (I have been eating mostly healthy organic before this ordeal as I stated earlier. Hat off to the people loyal to junk-food, I don't know how they can do it on a regular basis !!).
2017 08 10 (1)
00h10 I just had a very strong *Deja-Vu*. It felt heart warming to think that Allah maybe is confirming to me what I stated earlier :" in this earthly life, there is no bad things, no good things : it is just the way Allah wrote the movie of one's life experience, FROM outside Time."
2017 08 09 (3)
23h : Having to deal with the cold is a bit concerning since I am wearing only a T-shirt. I went to a box marked "Clothes and Shoes Drop off". It was locked but I reached with my hand as far as I could and I was able to grab a plastic bag with 3 short sleeves shirt and a Jean. Though old, they smell nice, they were washed. At least the cold won't be as a bigger issue as I thought initially.
When I looked inside the bag ''Denver' gave me, the content is awesome. Aside from the pork based canned meat and some crackers, there is a very large heavy duty blue plastic sheet, the one with holes on the borders and a rope. VERY convenient as there is rain on the forecast for the next several days, starting Thursday night at 20h. Attach the plastic sheet to a tree with the rope, and one has a superb water proof tent. A great flashlight is there too. VERY convenient as it is pitch dark at night when one walks a few feet away from the Bus/Truck Stop. There is also a plastic bag full of hygiene stuff (toothbrush, toothpaste, kleenex...etc). A lighter and a box cutter is there too.
I am going to stay up in this shop until I can get some sunlight to go find another spot in the woods to set my improvised little camp. The 1st one is obviously not safe as reminded by the disappearance of my humble belongings.
When I looked inside the bag ''Denver' gave me, the content is awesome. Aside from the pork based canned meat and some crackers, there is a very large heavy duty blue plastic sheet, the one with holes on the borders and a rope. VERY convenient as there is rain on the forecast for the next several days, starting Thursday night at 20h. Attach the plastic sheet to a tree with the rope, and one has a superb water proof tent. A great flashlight is there too. VERY convenient as it is pitch dark at night when one walks a few feet away from the Bus/Truck Stop. There is also a plastic bag full of hygiene stuff (toothbrush, toothpaste, kleenex...etc). A lighter and a box cutter is there too.
I am going to stay up in this shop until I can get some sunlight to go find another spot in the woods to set my improvised little camp. The 1st one is obviously not safe as reminded by the disappearance of my humble belongings.
2017 08 09 (2)
2017 08 09 (2)
19h30 Having spent the day at the truck/bus Stop, eating, drinking, using the restroom and trying to see if a job opportunity presents itself (which it didn't), I returned to my little improvised camp in the woods, hoping to put some clothes on (it is getting a bit cold with the sunset), then just relaxing and meditating in the middle of the trees and the birds praising Allah before they go to sleep (no rain in the forecast).
LO AND BEHOLD : my humble bag containing my warm clothes, my umbrella, a flashlight, spare batteries for it, clean underwear, 2 hats to keep my head warm, nail clippers, ALL VANISHED, even a half empty bottle of water. I kept going back and forth looking for my beloved belongings for 20 mns, but NADA. Did Allah sent a Jinn to leave me even more destitute than before ?.
LOL at how Allah wrote the movie of my life. Whenever I start thinking "cheer up, the worst has certainly passed", Allah turns the heat a few notches up (lol). Isn't there a hadith that states, the more Allah gives you faith, the more trials and tribulations you will be given ?. Also another one that states, the believer will keep being tried in this life, so that on the day of judgement he would have been already cleansed of his sins.
I returned to the bus/truck stop. I shared my story with a transient girl (hippy looking, walking bare feet...etc). She is asking people for money to buy gasoline to put in her boyfriend vehicle and head south to find farm work. She went to her vehicle and insisted that I take a little bag full of food and other stuff. I did take it because I felt she was genuinely being nice and not fake (like so many are, they offer a gesture of kindness with their words, while with their heart they pray you won't accept). 45 mns later, she brought me a little blanket, very warm (and smelly), that I threw on my shoulders (very cold AC in this shop). Her name is 'Denver'. I gave her a big hug before she left (some muslims will be thinking : "see, you are hugging a girl to whom you are not related according to religion, therefore you are evil and you deserve your hardship").
I think Pork will be soon on my menu, as it is among the food she gave me. I still have $40. left. It seems right now I am in Virginia.
19h30 Having spent the day at the truck/bus Stop, eating, drinking, using the restroom and trying to see if a job opportunity presents itself (which it didn't), I returned to my little improvised camp in the woods, hoping to put some clothes on (it is getting a bit cold with the sunset), then just relaxing and meditating in the middle of the trees and the birds praising Allah before they go to sleep (no rain in the forecast).
LO AND BEHOLD : my humble bag containing my warm clothes, my umbrella, a flashlight, spare batteries for it, clean underwear, 2 hats to keep my head warm, nail clippers, ALL VANISHED, even a half empty bottle of water. I kept going back and forth looking for my beloved belongings for 20 mns, but NADA. Did Allah sent a Jinn to leave me even more destitute than before ?.
LOL at how Allah wrote the movie of my life. Whenever I start thinking "cheer up, the worst has certainly passed", Allah turns the heat a few notches up (lol). Isn't there a hadith that states, the more Allah gives you faith, the more trials and tribulations you will be given ?. Also another one that states, the believer will keep being tried in this life, so that on the day of judgement he would have been already cleansed of his sins.
I returned to the bus/truck stop. I shared my story with a transient girl (hippy looking, walking bare feet...etc). She is asking people for money to buy gasoline to put in her boyfriend vehicle and head south to find farm work. She went to her vehicle and insisted that I take a little bag full of food and other stuff. I did take it because I felt she was genuinely being nice and not fake (like so many are, they offer a gesture of kindness with their words, while with their heart they pray you won't accept). 45 mns later, she brought me a little blanket, very warm (and smelly), that I threw on my shoulders (very cold AC in this shop). Her name is 'Denver'. I gave her a big hug before she left (some muslims will be thinking : "see, you are hugging a girl to whom you are not related according to religion, therefore you are evil and you deserve your hardship").
I think Pork will be soon on my menu, as it is among the food she gave me. I still have $40. left. It seems right now I am in Virginia.
2017 08 09 (1)
11h : I woke up around 9h30. I spent my first night in the woods. I slept well Alhamdulillah, though it was a bit cold and humid. I was concerned about snakes, wild animals and mosquitoes : there seems to be none, except some beautiful very artistic spiders' nets and the beautiful spiders waiting patiently for their sustenance, as Allah has taught them. My dreams were still populated with devil's Paradise called NYC, where the oppressed are just as nasty as the oppressors managing that spiritual sewer. (I didn't feel mosquitoes and insects because I had ducked under my bed sheet. That will change....!!!)
Today seems to be a gorgeous day, sunny with PALE-blue sky (thanks to chemtrails, taking our right to the the gift of Allah, that is A BLUE SKY). The birds are chirping, and to say that the smell of trees and dirt is awesome, is not saying much.
I am not feeling sorry for myself at all to be in this seemingly difficult situation. The way I understand it, in this earthly life, there is no bad things, no good things : it is just the way Allah wrote the movie of one's life experience, FROM outside Time. He sees everything, is aware of everything and it is TOO EASY for Him to change hardship for easiness, if He wishes so. That said, some of us seem to have been chosen (or deserved ??) for more hardship than others, starting from birth and continuing on, on top of being one of those who feel too much.
I expected myself to be angry at Allah for putting me where I am right now, but I am not Alhamdulillah. The only dagger in my heart, is to have left my 4 beloved cats behind and I can not help shed tears whenever I remember them. Then again, in reality, they are Allah's cats, since everything ever created belongs to Him. Hopefully the landlord will contact the list of people I left him, and some of those people will step in to take good care of them.
I haven't eaten in 3 days but drank some water. I still have $52. left. I am a bit weak. Maybe I will buy something to eat from the many junk-food outlets present at this nearby truck/bus stop where I am using free WiFi. Before, I used to be mostly into organic food to keep my bladder cancer under control, and making an effort to be healthy is like giving the finger to the parasitic ruling class...oh well : no worries, whatever will happen has already happened in the realm of Timelessness.
For now, I blend a little bit in the general population as I am clean shaven and with short hair. I am sure that will stop in a few days when my beard and hair grow.
-------------------------
13h20 : I went to the motel nearby and a restaurant to ask if they had a job available. None did, or maybe my appearance was a turn off. I am used to having that effect on people who are immersed in this dimension up to their eye-balls. $47. left and some coins.
The big chains, such as Subway, Dunkin donuts...etc are hiring but they want people with chains around their neck : paper this, paper that...etc.
After, I had 2 hot chocolates and 2 donuts. I am less weak but I am tired emotionally, so may Allah free me from this earthly place soon, as the road so far has been arduous enough and long enough.
Today seems to be a gorgeous day, sunny with PALE-blue sky (thanks to chemtrails, taking our right to the the gift of Allah, that is A BLUE SKY). The birds are chirping, and to say that the smell of trees and dirt is awesome, is not saying much.
I am not feeling sorry for myself at all to be in this seemingly difficult situation. The way I understand it, in this earthly life, there is no bad things, no good things : it is just the way Allah wrote the movie of one's life experience, FROM outside Time. He sees everything, is aware of everything and it is TOO EASY for Him to change hardship for easiness, if He wishes so. That said, some of us seem to have been chosen (or deserved ??) for more hardship than others, starting from birth and continuing on, on top of being one of those who feel too much.
I expected myself to be angry at Allah for putting me where I am right now, but I am not Alhamdulillah. The only dagger in my heart, is to have left my 4 beloved cats behind and I can not help shed tears whenever I remember them. Then again, in reality, they are Allah's cats, since everything ever created belongs to Him. Hopefully the landlord will contact the list of people I left him, and some of those people will step in to take good care of them.
I haven't eaten in 3 days but drank some water. I still have $52. left. I am a bit weak. Maybe I will buy something to eat from the many junk-food outlets present at this nearby truck/bus stop where I am using free WiFi. Before, I used to be mostly into organic food to keep my bladder cancer under control, and making an effort to be healthy is like giving the finger to the parasitic ruling class...oh well : no worries, whatever will happen has already happened in the realm of Timelessness.
For now, I blend a little bit in the general population as I am clean shaven and with short hair. I am sure that will stop in a few days when my beard and hair grow.
-------------------------
13h20 : I went to the motel nearby and a restaurant to ask if they had a job available. None did, or maybe my appearance was a turn off. I am used to having that effect on people who are immersed in this dimension up to their eye-balls. $47. left and some coins.
The big chains, such as Subway, Dunkin donuts...etc are hiring but they want people with chains around their neck : paper this, paper that...etc.
After, I had 2 hot chocolates and 2 donuts. I am less weak but I am tired emotionally, so may Allah free me from this earthly place soon, as the road so far has been arduous enough and long enough.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)